Hard situations 💪
What do I do if this happens to me? · 10 min
Hard situations
What do I do if this happens to me? · 15 min
Hard situations
What do I do if this happens to me? · 20 min
Each age has its own progress. People of the same age share this space and its logbook in this browser.
Teasing about color shows up in everyday moments. Let's practice, so when it really happens you already know what to do.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to play
There are five situations. In each one, choose what you'd do and see what happens. You can do some today and others tomorrow.
«You can't be the princess»
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Someone tells Maya she can't be the princess because princesses are white. What do you do?
Stay quiet.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 🙈 Maya walks away alone.
«Yes she can! Princesses can be any color.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🖍️ Maya plays, and the game is more fun!
The trick: color doesn't decide who gets to play.
The nickname
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Everyone calls Tomás «China boy». What do you do?
Call him «China boy» like everyone else.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 🙈 Tomás feels different every day.
Ask him what he likes to be called.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🖍️ «Tomás», he says. And he smiles!
The trick: if you don't know, ask.
The hair
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A classmate comes in with her curly hair down. What do you do?
Touch her hair without asking and laugh.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 🙈 She ties her hair up and never lets it down again.
«I like your hair.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🖍️ She feels good about her hair.
The trick: everyone's hair is beautiful just as it is. And you don't touch it without asking.
«Stay out of the sun, you'll get darker»
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Your grandma tells you: «Stay out of the sun, you'll get darker». What do you do?
Repeat it at school.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 🙈 A dark-skinned classmate gets sad.
Tell your grandma kindly: «Grandma, all colors are beautiful. I put on sunscreen to take care of my skin».
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🖍️ Your grandma thinks about it.
The trick: sometimes grown-ups get things wrong too. You can tell them what you learned, kindly.
When it's said to you
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Someone makes fun of your skin or your hair. What do you do?
Keep it to yourself and not tell anyone.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 🙈 You feel bad and nobody knows.
Say «stop!», walk away and tell a grown-up you trust.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🖍️ They help you, and you're not alone with it anymore.
The trick: what they say about your skin or your hair doesn't say who you are. Your color is beautiful!
Act it out
Act out together the situation that happens to the child most.
Notice if any of these situations happens to you today.
Which situation seems hardest to you?
Your superhero plan!
Finish and go to lesson 9 →Knowing we're all worth the same is easy. Saying it when the whole class is laughing is something else. This lesson is a rehearsal.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
There are six situations. You can do them in order or go to the one you need most, and you can do the lesson in two parts.
The meme in the chat
Inside: it's funny, everyone's laughing, and if you don't laugh you're left out.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A meme making fun of dark-skinned people is going around the chat.
You forward it.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. It reaches the whole school.
You don't say anything.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. It keeps going around.
«This one's not funny. Some of our classmates see this.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Someone writes «true». The meme stops.
Step by step: don't forward it. Say something short. If someone in your class might feel bad, message them: «I saw the meme. I don't think that way».
The lifelong nickname
Inside: you've always called him that. He never said anything. It feels awkward to change now.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Your friend tells you, a little uncomfortable: «Hey, stop calling me “Blackie”».
«Come on, I've always called you that.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. He goes quiet. He never asks again, and it keeps hurting.
You keep calling him that when you're in a group.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. He laughs so as not to look bad.
«Okay, sorry. What do you want me to call you?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. He smiles: «My name». And the friendship stays the same.
Step by step: if he asks, change it that same day. You don't have to understand it to respect it.
The filter
Inside: your friend is your friend. But it hurts to hear her talk about herself like that.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Your friend tells you: «Without a filter I look awful. Way too dark».
«Yeah, you look better with a filter.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Now she uses the filter on all her photos.
«Lol, we all use filters.»
If you choose this one
Stays the same. She keeps thinking her skin is ugly.
«Your skin is beautiful as it is. You look good to me without a filter.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She thinks about it. She posts a photo without a filter.
Step by step: tell her what you really see. Filters that lighten skin teach that lighter is better, and it isn't.
The noises at the game
Inside: it's your school's crowd. Everyone's doing it. You feel part of it.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
At a game between schools, the crowd makes monkey noises every time Julián, a Black player on the other team, touches the ball.
You join in.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Julián misses a penalty and the crowd celebrates it more than a goal.
You don't make noises, but you don't say anything.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The noises continue.
«Not that. Let's cheer for our team, not insult anyone.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The people next to you stop. You tell the teacher in charge.
Step by step: don't join in. If you can, say something short to the people next to you and tell an adult or the referee. If someone posts the video, don't like it: report it.
When it's said to you
Inside: anger, shame, wanting to hit back the same way, or to hide.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Someone in class makes fun of your hair, your skin or your eyes in front of everyone.
You answer with something worse.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. You end up fighting, and the teasing keeps going.
You don't say anything and keep it to yourself.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. It hurts, and nobody knows.
«That's not funny.» You walk away and tell an adult you trust.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. You don't carry it alone anymore, and someone helps you figure out what to do.
Step by step: what they say about your skin or your hair says something about them, not you. You don't have to change to fit in. If it keeps happening, it's bullying: ask for help.
Someone tells you that what you said was racist
Inside: «I'm not racist!». You feel accused.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A classmate tells you: «What you said about Kevin was racist».
«I'm not racist! I have Black friends.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. The conversation turns into a fight.
You don't answer and walk away.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. She thinks you didn't care.
«I hadn't thought of it that way. What part seemed wrong to you?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She explains. You understand something you didn't see.
Step by step: being told something was racist isn't the same as being told you're a bad person. Listen, think about it and, if they're right, change.
Your situation
Write a situation you're living today and what you'll do this week.
Go over the step by step for one situation before you go to sleep.
Which option would you have chosen before this route?
Your plan.
Finish and go to lesson 9 →Knowing that we all have equal dignity is easy.
Saying it out loud at your family's table, when everyone's laughing, is something else.
This lesson is a rehearsal.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to use this lesson
There are six situations. You can do them in order or go straight to the one you need most, and you can do the lesson in two parts.
Each one has five parts: the scene, what's going on inside, the simulator, step by step and if it goes wrong.
«Too bad she came out dark»
The scene. Your cousin's daughter is born. During the visit, an aunt looks at her and says: «So pretty. Too bad she came out dark and with that hair». Some people laugh.
Inside. You don't want to ruin the visit or fight with your aunt. But something bothers you.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You laugh with the others.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. The phrase becomes something normal. The baby will hear it many more times.
You don't say anything.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. Nobody knows you don't agree.
With a smile: «I think she's gorgeous just like this, with her skin and her hair».
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Your cousin looks at you gratefully. The aunt doesn't say anything else.
Step by step
- In the moment: a sentence that celebrates the baby just as she is. No need to attack anyone.
- Afterwards: if you're close to your aunt, you can tell her privately: «We heard that phrase growing up and it hurt us. I don't want this little girl to hear it».
- Going forward: as that girl grows up, tell her often that her skin and her hair are beautiful.
If it goes wrong. If you laughed, you can go back to your cousin: «Sorry I laughed. Your daughter is gorgeous just as she is».
An «affectionate» nickname
The scene. In your group of friends, one has been called «Blackie» for years. Everyone says it affectionately. One day you notice he doesn't smile anymore when they say it.
Inside. It's always been like that. You're afraid of making too much of it.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You keep calling him that.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. He still says nothing, and smiles less and less.
You stop saying it, but you don't ask him anything.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. Something changes, but you don't know if that was it.
In private: «Hey, do you like it when we call you that? If not, tell me, and I'll use your name».
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. He's quiet for a moment. «Honestly, I never liked it.»
Step by step
- In the moment: ask in private, without pressure.
- Afterwards: if he tells you he doesn't like it, use his name, and help the group do the same.
- Going forward: before giving someone a nickname about their color or features, don't.
If it goes wrong. If he laughs and says he doesn't care, respect it. But if he changes his mind one day, let him know he can tell you.
At work, you choose by how someone looks
The scene. You have to choose between two people for a position. One has a better résumé. The other «looks more presentable». You lean toward the second.
Inside. «It's that the client…», «it's about the image…». It sounds reasonable.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You choose the one who «looks more presentable».
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. You lose the best one, and your team keeps looking more and more alike.
You leave it for another day.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The doubt remains, and so does the decision.
You ask yourself: «Would I choose her the same way if she had a different skin color?». The answer is no. You interview both with the same questions.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The one with the better résumé is also the best in the interview.
Step by step
- In the moment: ask yourself the color and last-name question.
- Afterwards: use the same questions and the same criteria for everyone. Write them down before looking at the photos.
- Going forward: look at your team: does everyone look alike? If so, ask yourself why.
If it goes wrong. If you already chose by appearance, next time start with written criteria.
Your daughter says her hair is ugly
The scene. Your 7-year-old daughter comes home from school and says: «I want straight hair like my friends. Mine is ugly».
Inside. It hurts. Maybe you remember when you felt the same.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
«Okay, tomorrow we'll straighten it.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. She learns that her hair, as it is, needs fixing.
«Don't be silly, your hair is beautiful.»
If you choose this one
Stays the same. She goes quiet, but keeps thinking the same thing.
«Did someone say something to you? Tell me.» And then: «Your hair is gorgeous just like this. Look, so many people have hair like yours».
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She tells you someone called her «sponge head». You look for photos together of people with hair like hers.
Step by step
- In the moment: ask what happened. There's almost always a comment behind it.
- Afterwards: show her people she admires with her same color or her same hair. And check what phrases are said in your home.
- Going forward: if someone at school makes fun of her, talk to the teachers. If the sadness doesn't go away, get help.
If it goes wrong. If you already told her «it needs fixing», you can go back: «I was wrong. Your hair doesn't need fixing. It's beautiful just like this».
At the stadium, people make monkey noises
The scene. At the game, part of the crowd makes monkey noises every time a Black player on the other team touches the ball.
Inside. It's your team, your people. You don't want to look bad. But you know it's wrong.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You laugh.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. The noises continue. The player looks up at the stands.
You do nothing.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The noises continue.
You tell the people next to you: «Not that. That's racism». And you clap loudly when the player touches the ball.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Some stop. Others clap with you.
Step by step
- In the moment: don't join in. If you can, say something short to the people next to you.
- Afterwards: many stadiums and leagues have ways to report it. Use them.
- Going forward: if you go with children, explain why it's wrong. They're learning what being a fan means.
If it goes wrong. If you laughed, talk to whoever was with you on the way out: «That was wrong. I won't laugh at that again».
Someone tells you that what you said was racist
The scene. A coworker tells you: «What you said in the meeting about that client was racist». You don't feel that way.
Inside. You feel accused. Anger. You want to explain that you're not like that.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
«Me, racist? I have friends of every color.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. She stops talking. She never tells you anything again, about anything.
«Come on, now everything is racism.»
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The conversation ends. You don't learn anything.
You breathe. «I didn't see it that way. Can you explain what bothered you?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She explains. You realize something you hadn't seen. «You're right. Thanks for telling me.»
Step by step
- In the moment: breathe. Being told that something you said was racist isn't the same as being told you're a bad person.
- Afterwards: listen, ask and, if it's right, apologize without a «but».
- Going forward: be grateful they told you. It was hard for that person, and they did you a favor.
If it goes wrong. If you already got defensive, you can go back the next day: «I kept thinking about what you said. You were right».
Your situation
Step 1 · Choose the situation most like something you're living today, or write your own.
Step 2 · Write what's going on, with whom and what you've done so far.
Step 3 · Your next step. With the tools from lessons 6 and 7, what will you do this week?
Take the next step you wrote. Even if it's small.
Which situation is most like your life? Which simulator option would you have chosen before this route?
Now you have the tools and you've tested them in hard situations.
In the next lesson you'll make your plan: what you'll do, with whom, what you'll change at home and what you'll do the day you slip again.
Finish and go to lesson 9 →Lesson 8 of 10.
Almost there.
To take with youNotice if any of these situations happens to you today.
To take with youGo over the step by step for one situation before you go to sleep.
To take with youTake the next step you wrote. Even if it's small.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.