The magnet is sneaky: you almost never notice when it's caught you.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Six tricks
- The «five more minutes»: and it's five, and another five, and another five.
- The «coming!»: someone calls you, you say you're coming, and you don't.
- The «one more»: one video, another, another… and the afternoon is gone.
- The «I can't hear you»: someone talks to you and your eyes stay on the screen.
- The «I'm bored»: as soon as there's nothing to do, you want a screen.
- The «in bed»: screens before sleeping, and then you can't fall asleep.
Is the magnet the boss, or are you?
Turning off the tablet when time's up.
Answer
💪 I'm the boss. You let go of the magnet!
Saying «coming!» and staying with the videos.
Answer
🧲 The magnet is the boss. It's the «coming!» trick.
Video-calling grandma.
Answer
💪 I'm the boss. That way the screen brings you closer!
Playing on the tablet when a friend comes over.
Answer
🧲 The magnet is the boss. The magnet took your friend away.
Making up a game when you're bored.
Answer
💪 I'm the boss. Your head invented something!
Watching «one more» video in bed.
Answer
🧲 The magnet is the boss. It's the «in bed» trick.
—Lía, will you help me make cookies?
—Uh-huh —says Lía, without looking.
A while later, Lía smells cookies. Her dad already made them with Teo, and they laughed a lot. Lía didn't even notice.
Which tricks did the magnet use?
Guess the trick
The adult acts out a trick and the child guesses which one it is. Then swap.
If you see a trick today, in yourself or someone at home, say it kindly: «The magnet got you!».
Which trick happens to you most?
Why does the magnet pull so hard?
Finish and go to lesson 3 →Nobody says «I'm going to ignore my friend». We say «just a second», «let's see what the group is saying» or «one more video and that's it».
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Eight disguises
- The reflex. «Just a second…». You pull it out without deciding.
- The just-in-case. «Let's see if there's anything». You check even when nobody has written.
- The shield. You pull it out as soon as there's a silence, a wait or an awkward moment.
- The half-present. «Uh-huh, I'm listening». You're with someone, but your head is on the screen.
- The night thief. «One more video and that's it». And it's two in the morning.
- The shop window. You live the moment thinking about how it will look posted.
- The can't-miss-anything. «If I'm not in the group chat, I'm left out». You check everything so you're not left out.
- The video spiral. One leads to another, and another, and another. When you check the time, the afternoon is gone.
All eight feel like something small. The problem is the sum: a thousand «just a second» add up to hours.
Did you decide, or was it a reflex?
I video-called my grandma.
Answer
I decided. You used your phone to get closer to someone.
I opened TikTok as soon as the teacher stopped talking.
Answer
Reflex. There was nothing to look for. Just an empty moment.
I looked up a tutorial for homework and closed it when I finished.
Answer
I decided. You had a clear reason.
I checked the group chat in the middle of dinner «just in case».
Answer
Reflex. Nobody had written to you.
I took a photo of the sunset.
Answer
It depends. One photo keeps the moment. Twenty can make you miss it.
I kept watching videos until one in the morning.
Answer
Reflex. One led to another, without you deciding.
At Sunday lunch, Teo's grandma tells how she met grandpa, when she was 15. Everyone laughs.
Teo laughs too, but he doesn't know why. He's answering the group chat under the table.
That night he asks his mom: «What did grandma say?». His mom tells him: «Ask her».
Teo used two disguises: the can't-miss-anything and the half-present. To avoid missing a chat nobody would remember, he missed a story his grandma won't tell many more times.
Your two disguises
1 · Mark the two you use most.
2 · A real moment for each one, and what you missed.
Every time you pull out your phone, name the disguise. Just name it.
Which disguise was hardest to recognize?
Why is it so hard to put down, even when you want to?
Finish and go to lesson 3 →Nobody says «I'm going to ignore my daughter».
We say «just a second», «let's see if there's anything» or «it's quick, it's work».
Your phone almost never takes your attention all at once. It takes it bit by bit, with good reasons.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Eight disguises
These are the most common. Most of us use two or three.
- The reflex. «Just a second…». You pull it out without deciding, and sometimes you don't remember what you were looking for.
- The just-in-case. «Let's see if there's anything». You check even when nobody has written, several times an hour.
- The shield. «While I wait…». You pull it out as soon as there's a line, a silence or an awkward moment.
- The half-present. «Uh-huh, yes, I'm listening». You're with someone, but your eyes and your head are on the screen.
- The night thief. «One more video and that's it». It's the last thing you see before sleep and the first when you wake.
- The shop window. «Wait, let me take a picture». You live the moment thinking about how it will look posted.
- The multitasker. The meeting, your kid's homework and the chat, all at once. And none of it well.
- The always-available. «It's quick, it's work». You answer at ten at night, at dinner or on vacation, because «it costs nothing».
What they have in common
None of them feels like a decision. They all feel like something small: a second, a glance, a quick message.
The problem isn't each time. It's the sum. A thousand «just a second» add up to hours. And they're almost always taken from someone who was right there.
Did you decide, or was it a reflex?
I video-called my mom on Sunday.
Answer
I decided. You used your phone to get closer to someone.
I opened Instagram at a red light.
Answer
Reflex. There was nothing to look for. Just an empty moment.
I checked work email at dinner «just in case».
Answer
Reflex. Nobody had written, and you took your head away from the table.
I looked up the recipe while cooking.
Answer
I decided. You had a clear reason, and you put it down when you finished.
I pulled out my phone in the waiting room.
Answer
It depends. If you chose to read something, fine. If it was to avoid feeling the wait, it was a reflex.
I took twenty photos at my son's birthday.
Answer
It depends. One photo keeps the moment. Twenty can make you miss it.
I answered a message while my partner told me about their day.
Answer
Reflex. You gave the screen attention that belonged to someone else.
I set an alarm to remember to call a friend.
Answer
I decided. Your phone working for what matters to you.
Your phone isn't good or bad. The question is always the same: did you decide?
Tuesday, nine at night. Mara is helping Lía with her math homework. At the same time, she's answering the work chat, which won't stop buzzing.
—Mom, is this right?
—Yes, yes, it's right —says Mara, without looking at the notebook. She's writing a long reply.
—And this one?
—That too. Very good.
The next day, Lía comes back from school with her homework full of red corrections.
—You told me it was right.
Mara used three disguises in an hour: the multitasker, the always-available and the half-present. She wanted to do both things well. She ended up doing both halfway. And Lía learned something nobody meant to teach her: that when the phone buzzes, she waits.
Your two disguises
Step 1 · Choose. Of the eight disguises, mark the two you use most.
Step 2 · A real moment for each one. Where was it? Who were you with? What were you doing on your phone?
Step 3 · What would have happened without the phone? Write what you could have seen, heard or done. For example: «I checked the chat at dinner» becomes «I would have found out my son did badly on his test».
Step 4 · See the difference. Was what you saw on the screen worth it, compared with what you missed?
Every time you pull out your phone, name the disguise: «That was the shield», «That was the just-in-case». Just name it. You don't have to put it away.
Which disguise was hardest to recognize? Is there someone who notices it more than you?
If you know it happens, why is it so hard to put down?
In the next lesson you'll see why it's not just a lack of willpower, what a notification does to you even if you don't answer it, and why silence is so uncomfortable.
Finish and go to lesson 3 →Lesson 2 of 10.
Great start.
To take with youIf you see a trick today, in yourself or someone at home, say it kindly: «The magnet got you!».
To take with youEvery time you pull out your phone, name the disguise. Just name it.
To take with youEvery time you pull out your phone, name the disguise: «That was the shield», «That was the just-in-case». Just name it. You don't have to put it away.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.