Superheroes have a plan for when the villain shows up. What about you, for when the magnet pulls?
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Your plan looks like this: «If this happens, then I'll do that». For example: «If the alarm rings, then I turn off the tablet».
Make your plan
Your helper
Choose someone at home to help you: when they see the magnet pulling you, they'll say a secret word (for example, «magnet!») to remind you of your plan. And you can say it to the grown-ups too!
And if the magnet wins again: that's okay. You let go of it again tomorrow.
Tell your helper about your plan.
Which part of your plan will you use first?
The last lesson!
Finish and go to lesson 10 →The reflex doesn't warn you. It shows up in bed, in class, with your friends. That's why it helps to decide ahead of time.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
«If this happens, then I'll do that.» For example: «If I go to bed, then my phone stays in the kitchen». (Gollwitzer and Sheeran, 2006)
A habit takes about two months, and missing a day doesn't ruin anything. (Lally et al., 2010)
Build your plan
Your full plan
1 · Your three «if… then». You built them above.
2 · Your surroundings: the changes from lesson 7 you're keeping.
3 · Your ally: someone who asks you «what for?».
4 · One person you'll give more attention to this month.
5 · The day you slip: name it without punishing yourself, and go back to the plan.
Tell your ally about your plan.
Which of your «if… then» will be hardest?
The last lesson. And someone wants to tell you something.
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Sources for this lesson
- Gollwitzer, P. M. and Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119. View source: Gollwitzer, P. M. and Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
- Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. and Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. View source: Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. and Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
The reflex doesn't warn you. It shows up in bed, at the table, in line, when someone talks to you.
That's why it helps to decide ahead of time what you'll do.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
«If this happens, then I'll do that»
Concrete plans work much better than good intentions. (Gollwitzer and Sheeran, 2006)
«If [something concrete happens], then I will [do something concrete].»
For example:
- «If someone starts talking to me, then I lock my phone and look at them».
- «If I sit down at the table, then I put my phone in the basket».
- «If I'm in a line, then I go a minute without pulling it out».
- «If the work chat comes in after eight, then I answer tomorrow».
You'll slip again
You'll answer an email again while someone is talking to you, or get stuck on a video at one in the morning. It's human. And the phone is built for that.
A new habit takes, on average, about two months to become automatic, and skipping a day doesn't ruin the process. (Lally et al., 2010)
Build your plan
Build three sentences. Choose an option in each part or write your own.
Your full plan
1 · Your three «if… then». You built them above.
2 · Your blind moments. When does the reflex win most? Look at what you wrote in lesson 1 («I pull out my phone without thinking when…») and in lesson 3 («When I feel ____, I pull out my phone so I don't have to feel it»).
3 · Your surroundings. Write the changes from lesson 7 you'll keep: alerts, where your phone sleeps, phone-free places, your house rule.
4 · Your ally. Choose someone you trust and tell them your plan. Ask them for something concrete: «If you see me on my phone while someone is talking to me, say “what for?”».
5 · Your people. Go back to your attention map from lesson 1. Write the name of one person you'll give more full attention to this month.
6 · The day you slip. Write what you'll do when you catch yourself in the reflex again. Some help:
- Notice it without punishing yourself.
- Go back to the person: «Sorry, I was on my phone. Will you tell me again?».
- Go back to your plan the next day.
Tell your ally about your plan.
Which of your «if… then» will be hardest? Why?
You've reached the last lesson. You'll look in the mirror again.
And there's someone who wants to tell you something.
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Sources for this lesson
- Gollwitzer, P. M. and Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119. View source: Gollwitzer, P. M. and Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
- Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. and Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. View source: Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. and Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
Lesson 9 of 10.
Almost there.
To take with youTell your helper about your plan.
To take with youTell your ally about your plan.
To take with youTell your ally about your plan.
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