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The compass 🧭

What does someone who does it differently look like? · 8 min

The compass

What does someone who does it differently look like? · 10 min

The compass

What does someone who does it differently look like? · 12 min

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To start

Can you imagine someone surrounded by lots and lots of people, who stops for just one person?

The idea

The compass

There was a very good man everyone wanted to see. There were always lots of people around him. Even so, he knew whom to look at.

  • He stopped for one person. He was walking along a road full of people pushing from every side. A woman who had been sick for a very long time touched him. He stopped, searched for her with his eyes until he found her, and listened to her whole story.
  • Only one thing mattered. He went to visit two sisters. One was running around doing a thousand things. The other sat down to listen to him. He kindly told the first one that she was missing the most important thing: being together.
  • He slept through the storm. He was in a boat with his friends when a very strong storm began. His friends were scared. He was asleep! He didn't live in a hurry. He knew how to rest.

He had lots and lots of things asking for his attention. And still he chose whom to look at, stayed with what mattered most, and knew how to rest.

The exercise

Real eyes 👀

Today, when someone at home talks to you, look them in the eyes until they finish. Like the good man did with the woman on the road.

To talk about

Why do you think he stopped for one person, when there were so many people?

What's next

Tricks to let go of the magnet!

Finish and go to lesson 6 →
To start

Picture the most popular person at school, surrounded by people. And in the middle of everyone, they stop for one single person.

The idea

The compass

There was a man everyone was always looking for. Even so, he knew whom to give his full attention to, and when to step away.

  • He stopped for one person. Surrounded by a crowd, a sick woman touched him. He stopped and searched for her with his eyes until he found her. He listened to her whole story.
  • Only one thing mattered. At the home of two sisters, one was running around with a thousand chores and the other sat down to listen to him. He told the first that she was worrying about many things and missing the only one that mattered.
  • He stepped away before dawn. Everyone was looking for him. He went early to a quiet place, alone. In that silence he decided what to do.
  • He shut out the noise. In a house full of people crying and making noise, he asked everyone to leave. He stayed with the parents of a sick girl and took her hand.
  • He slept through the storm. In a boat, during a strong storm, his friends were desperate. He was asleep. He knew how to rest.

He had more things asking for his attention than we do. And still he chose whom to look at, shut out the noise and knew how to rest.

Try it

What do you need most today?

Write here…
The exercise

One full hour

This week, give someone an hour without your phone: a friend, your brother or sister, your mom or your grandma. What happened?

Logbook

Which scene did you relate to most?

What's next

Six tools for the moment the reflex shows up.

Finish and go to lesson 6 →
To start

Picture someone everyone is looking for, all the time: the sick, the curious, friends, important people.

And who still, in the middle of a crowd, stops for one single person.

The idea

The compass

There was a man everyone was always looking for. Even so, he knew whom to give his full attention to, and when to step away.

  1. He stopped for one person

    He was walking along a road with so many people around him that they pressed in from every side. A sick woman, who for years had had no one look at her, came up behind him and touched him. He stopped and asked who it had been. His friends told him it was impossible to know with such a crowd. But he kept searching with his eyes until he found her. He listened to her whole story in front of everyone, and spoke to her kindly.

  2. Only one thing mattered

    He went to visit two sisters. One was running around with a thousand chores. The other sat down to listen to him. The first, worn out, complained that her sister wasn't helping. He answered her kindly, calling her by name twice: she was worrying about many things, and missing the only one that mattered at that moment.

  3. He stepped away before dawn

    The whole town was looking for him. He got up while it was still dark and went to a quiet place, alone. When his friends found him and told him everyone was waiting, he didn't rush off to attend to everyone. In that silence he had already decided what he would do that day.

  4. He shut out the noise

    He was called to a house where a little girl was very sick. When he arrived, the house was full of people crying and making a lot of noise. He asked everyone to leave. He stayed only with the girl's parents and three friends, went into the room and took her hand. When she got up, he remembered something small: he asked them to give her something to eat.

  5. He slept through the storm

    He was in a boat with his friends when a strong storm broke out. Waves were coming into the boat. His friends were desperate. He was asleep, his head on a cushion. He didn't live rushed by everything happening around him. He knew how to rest.

The idea
  1. What they have in common

    He didn't have fewer things asking for his attention than we do. He had more. And still:

    • He chose whom to look at. With a thousand people around, he gave all his attention to one.
    • He knew what mattered. He valued sitting down to listen more than doing many things at once.
    • He began in silence. Before answering everyone, he took a moment to decide.
    • He shut out the noise. For what mattered, he sent the crowd out and stayed with a few.
    • He knew how to rest. He didn't live at the pace of what's urgent.

    And in no scene is he in a hurry. Even in the middle of the storm, he was where he was.

  2. Choosing whom to look at can be practiced

    This isn't only for special people. Every time you put your phone away to look at someone, you're doing what he did on the road: with a thousand things asking for your attention, you choose one person.

Try it

What do you need most today?

Write here…
The exercise

One full hour

This week.

Part 1 · Choose someone: your child, your partner, your mom, a friend.

Part 2 · Give them one full hour. Your phone in another room, on silent. A meal, a walk, a game, a conversation. All your attention.

Part 3 · Write what happened, what they told you and how you felt without your phone nearby.

Logbook

What's hardest for you: choosing whom to look at, shutting out the noise or resting?

What's next

Now you know how the phone disguises itself, why it's hard to put down, what it costs and what the opposite looks like.

Now the practical part begins. In the next lesson you'll learn six tools for the exact moment the reflex shows up: before you unlock, when someone talks to you, when there's a wait.

Finish and go to lesson 6 →

What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.

Before you begin

Life slips by while we wait for it to start.

I'm not an expert in anything. I'm someone who gets things wrong a lot and is still learning how to live.

I made this place because happiness is almost never later: it's in the people close to you today, and in the day you're living right now.

You won't find sermons here. You'll find short routes to look at yourself honestly and change something, little by little.

It's always a good time to begin.

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