When the little team wins 🌧️
What happens if I don't notice? · 8 min
What it costs
What do I lose if I keep going like this? · 10 min
What it costs
What do I lose if I keep going like this? · 15 min
Each age has its own progress. People of the same age share this space and its logbook in this browser.
Can a colored shirt make someone cry?
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Lía's story
Case 1The reds and the blues
In gym class, the teacher hands out red and blue shirts for a game.
Illustrative case. The characters and events are made up. The pattern is based on evidence.
Where would you have changed course? Pick the panel where you would have done something different.
- On Monday
In gym class, the teacher hands out red and blue shirts for a game. Lía gets a red one.
What could have been done here
Remember it's just a game.
- On Tuesday
At break, the reds won't lend the ball to the blues. "They're blues," they say. Lía won't lend it either.
What could have been done here
Share the ball. A color doesn't make anyone worse.
- On Thursday
The reds make up a song to make fun of the blues. Sofía, a blue girl, starts to cry.
What could have been done here
Not sing the song, and go over to Sofía.
- On Friday
The teacher mixes everyone up to make a mural. Lía is paired with Sofía. They laugh together and make the prettiest drawing in the class. Lía realizes that red and blue were just shirts.
What could have been done here
What happened in the end! Mixing and getting to know each other.
Any moment was a good moment to change course, even the last one. The best one is today.
The cost: A week of fighting and a girl who cried, over a color.
What the data says: Many years ago, some scientists split some kids into two groups over something that didn't matter: which painting they liked more. Even though they didn't know each other, they started to like the kids in their own group better. Splitting kids up is enough to start "us against them"! Source: Tajfel, H., Billig, M. G., Bundy, R. P. and Flament, C. (1971). Social categorization and intergroup behaviour. European Journal of Social Psychology, 1(2), 149–178.
Today: Play today with someone from another class, another group or another team.
Red and blue were just shirts. But they were enough to make a girl cry. When the teacher mixed everyone up and they had to do something together, the little team disappeared.
How would you feel?
Imagine you're Sofía and everyone is making fun of you because of your shirt color. How would you feel? What would you want someone to do?
Play today with someone from another class, another group or another team.
Have you ever been left out for being «one of the others»?
Stories of a man who was kind to the people of his town and to outsiders too.
Finish and go to lesson 5 →A meme. A chant. A fight. A cousin on the ground.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
The timeline
Case 1The crew
Teo joins the group chat of his team's hardcore fans.
Illustrative case. The characters and events are made up. The pattern is based on evidence.
Where would you have changed course? Pick the panel where you would have done something different.
- In March
Teo joins the group chat of his team's hardcore fans. There are memes drawing the rival fans as rats. Teo laughs and sends one more.
What could have been done here
Not laugh at memes that treat others like animals. If that's what the group is, leave it.
- In April
At the stadium, the crew chants that the other team's fans "should die." Teo chants with everyone. He feels part of something big.
What could have been done here
Chant for your team and stay quiet for that part. Nobody will notice, but you will.
- In May
In the chat they write: "On Sunday we have to go find them." Teo has doubts, but says nothing so he won't look like a coward.
What could have been done here
Write "I'm not going" and tell a trusted adult what they were planning.
- That Sunday
After the match there's a fight between the two crews. Teo sees a boy in the rival shirt lying on the ground, beaten. It's his cousin Mateo. Teo doesn't know what to do.
What could have been done here
It's still possible: go see him, leave the group, and tell someone what they were planning so it doesn't happen again.
Any moment was a good moment to change course, even the last one. The best one is today.
The cost: A hurt cousin and a divided family, over a team shirt.
What the data says: In seven studies in three countries, seeing another group as "less human" went hand in hand with supporting attacks on them. Calling others "rats" isn't just a joke: it prepares the ground. Source: Kteily, N., Bruneau, E., Waytz, A. and Cotterill, S. (2015). The ascent of man: Theoretical and empirical evidence for blatant dehumanization. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(5), 901–931.
Today: If a group calls others "rats" or "animals," don't laugh. If it keeps going, get out.
It costs them feeling like enemies, being afraid, being insulted for their shirt, their neighborhood or their country.
It costs you friends you'll never meet, fights that weren't yours, and sometimes people you love.
The other side: being a fan with all your heart is fine. Protecting yourself from someone who hurt you, too. The problem starts when a whole group is condemned.
The tally
1 · Who did you stop getting to know because of their group?
2 · What did you share against a group that you wouldn't share today?
3 · One small action for this week.
Greet someone from a group on your map by name.
What has «them» cost you?
Someone who lived in a land full of hatred between peoples, and didn't play that game.
Finish and go to lesson 5 →Nobody wakes up one day hating their neighbors.
They get used to it little by little, message by message.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
The timeline
Case 1The outsiders
Mara shares a post in the neighborhood chat that says: "Outsiders are taking our jobs.
Illustrative case. The characters and events are made up. The pattern is based on evidence.
Where would you have changed course? Pick the panel where you would have done something different.
- One Monday
Mara shares a post in the neighborhood chat that says: "Outsiders are taking our jobs. It's an invasion." Several neighbors reply with applause. Nobody knows who wrote it.
What could have been done here
Not share it. Ask herself: "Do I know any of the people it's talking about in person?"
- A month later
Andrés, a neighbor who came from another country and opened a small bakery on the corner, isn't Andrés anymore: now he's "the foreigner." Mara stops buying from him. Other neighbors do too.
What could have been done here
Keep buying from him, say hello using his name and ask how things are going.
- Three months later
Lía says that at school they tell Andrés's daughter "go back to your country." She tells it laughing, imitating the girl's accent. Mara laughs too.
What could have been done here
Tell Lía calmly that it hurts and that we don't repeat it. Let the school know.
- Six months later
Tita falls in the street in front of the bakery. Andrés closes the shop, helps her up, takes her to the hospital and stays with her until Mara arrives. When Mara thanks him, he just says: "She's my neighbor." Mara doesn't know what to say.
What could have been done here
It's still possible. Really thank him, start buying from him again, tell the neighborhood chat what he did, and apologize to his family for what his daughter went through.
Any moment was a good moment to change course, even the last one. The best one is today.
The cost: A family that spent months feeling like enemies in their own neighborhood, and a girl who learned that where she came from was an insult.
What the data says: In seven studies in three countries, seeing another group as "less human" went hand in hand with supporting punishment and aggression against them. Words like "invasion" or "plague" aren't just words: they prepare the ground. Source: Kteily, N., Bruneau, E., Waytz, A. and Cotterill, S. (2015). The ascent of man: Theoretical and empirical evidence for blatant dehumanization. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(5), 901–931.
Today: Say hello, using their name, to someone from the group you find hardest.
What it costs them
Living as enemies in their own neighborhood. Looking over their shoulder. Being afraid to leave a daughter at the school gate, like Rosa.
What it costs you
Neighbors, coworkers and friends you'll never get to know. Help you won't ask for or receive. And a way of living with more distrust and more fear than necessary. Mara almost lost the person who later looked after her mother.
What it costs at home
Children learn very early who «us» is and who «them» is. In more than a hundred studies, prejudice appeared in early childhood and peaked around ages 5 to 7. Then it eases a little, especially when children get to know children from other groups. (Raabe and Beelmann, 2011)
Lía didn't invent «go back to your country». She heard it. And she laughed because she saw her mom laugh.
What it costs all of us
The distance from contempt to aggression is shorter than we think. Words that take away humanity make harm seem acceptable. No group started hating with fists: it started with words.
The other side: protecting yourself isn't hatred
If someone hurt you, you have the right to protect yourself from that person. Criticizing an idea, a law or a behavior isn't hatred either. Having your team, your country and your ideas, even less so.
The problem starts when a whole group is condemned for what one person did, or when someone's humanity is taken away for belonging to a group.
The tally
Step 1 · Who you didn't get to know. Is there someone you stopped getting to know, or treating well, because of the group they belong to?
Step 2 · What your kids hear. If you have children, nieces, nephews or kids around: what do the grown-ups at home say about «them»? What do you think they're learning?
Step 3 · What you shared. Did you share something against a group that you wouldn't share today?
Step 4 · One action. Write something small you could do this week: buy from the neighbor, say hello for real, delete a message, say something at home.
Greet someone from a group on your map by name. If you don't know their name, ask.
What has «them» cost you more: people you never met, or what your own people learned?
So far you've seen what hatred of others is, how it disguises itself, where it comes from and what it costs.
In the next lesson you'll see someone who lived in a land full of hatred between peoples, and didn't play that game.
Finish and go to lesson 5 →Sources for this lesson
- Raabe, T. and Beelmann, A. (2011). Development of ethnic, racial, and national prejudice in childhood and adolescence: A multinational meta-analysis of age differences. Child Development, 82(6), 1715–1737. View source: Raabe, T. and Beelmann, A. (2011). Development of ethnic, racial, and national prejudice in childhood and adolescence: A multinational meta-analysis of age differences. Child Development, 82(6), 1715–1737.
Lesson 4 of 10.
You're doing well.
To take with youPlay today with someone from another class, another group or another team.
To take with youGreet someone from a group on your map by name.
To take with youGreet someone from a group on your map by name. If you don't know their name, ask.
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