Tricky situations 💪
What do I do if this happens to me? · 10 min
Hard situations
What do I do if this happens to me? · 15 min
Hard situations
What do I do if this happens to me? · 20 min
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Antennas are needed in everyday moments. Let's practice, so when it really happens you'll know what to do.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to play
There are five situations. In each one, choose what you'd do and see what happens. You can do some today and others tomorrow.
A new kid arrives
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
Stay with your friends and don't look at him.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 💤 He spends recess alone.
«Hi! What's your name? Do you want to play?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 📡 You have a new friend!
The trick: the new kid is almost always a little bit scared.
Your friend is angry
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
«Stop being so annoying!»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 💤 He gets angrier.
«You seem angry. What happened?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 📡 He tells you someone broke his favorite toy.
The trick: behind anger there's often sadness.
Your friend's pet is gone
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Your friend's dog, Luna, passed away. What do you say?
«Just get another dog.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 💤 Your friend gets sadder.
«I'm so sorry. What was she like? What did she like to do?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 📡 Your friend tells you what Luna used to do. She smiles a little.
The trick: you don't have to take the sadness away. Just keep them company.
Your brother did something well
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you say?
«I can do that too!»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 💤 Your brother loses his moment.
«That's great! How did you do it?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 📡 Your brother shows you.
The trick: being happy for someone else takes nothing from you.
When you're sad
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
Keep it to yourself and say nothing.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 💤 The sadness gets bigger.
Tell someone at home.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 📡 They hug you, and the sadness gets smaller.
The trick: asking for company is brave too.
Act it out
Act out together the situation that happens to the child the most.
Notice if one of these situations happens to you today.
Which situation seems hardest to you?
Your superhero plan!
Finish and go to lesson 9 →There are moments nobody prepared us for. This lesson is a rehearsal.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to use this lesson
There are six situations. You can do them in order or go to the one you need most, and you can do the lesson in two parts.
The quiet friend
Inside: he's been off for days. You don't know whether to ask or leave him alone.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Your friend doesn't say a word all recess.
«What's your problem? You're being annoying.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. He shuts down more.
You say nothing. He'll get over it.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. Nothing changes.
«You seem quiet. You don't have to tell me, but if you want to, I'm here.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The next day he messages you.
Step by step: name what you see, offer without pushing, ask again another day.
Someone cries in class
Inside: everyone's looking. You're embarrassed to go over.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A classmate starts crying after a test.
You laugh with the others.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. She feels worse.
You look the other way.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. Nobody does anything.
On the way out, you go up to her: «Are you okay? Do you want me to walk with you?».
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She says yes. You walk together to the exit.
Step by step: you don't need to say much. Being there is already a lot.
The voice note at one in the morning
Inside: your friend sends you long voice notes every night. You care about her, but you're sleepy and there's a test tomorrow.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Another voice note arrives at one a.m.
You stay up until three listening.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. The next day you have no energy, and you're angry.
You never answer again.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. She doesn't understand what happened.
«I want to listen to you properly, and I can't right now. Can we talk tomorrow at recess? Are you safe right now?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. «Yeah, don't worry. Talk tomorrow.»
Step by step: set a kind limit. If the problem is serious or keeps repeating, tell an adult you trust.
Good news that makes you jealous
Inside: your friend got exactly what you wanted.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
He tells you he was chosen to represent the school.
«They always pick the same people anyway.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. He feels awkward.
«Oh, good.»
If you choose this one
Stays the same. He notices.
«You deserve it! When is it?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. He invites you to come along.
Step by step: being happy for someone else takes nothing from you. If it's hard, the envy route is for you.
The cruel meme
Inside: everyone's laughing. If you don't laugh, you're the boring one.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A meme making fun of a classmate's body is going around the group.
You send a laughing sticker.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. It reaches the whole class.
You say nothing.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The meme keeps going.
«Okay, stop. How would you feel if it were you?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Someone writes: «True». Someone else deletes the meme.
Step by step: don't forward it. If you can, say something. Then message your classmate: «I saw what happened in the group. It wasn't okay».
The secret
Inside: fear. A lot of fear. You don't know if she means it.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A friend writes to you: «Sometimes I think it would be better to disappear. Don't tell anyone».
«Don't talk nonsense.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. «I was joking.» And she never brings it up again.
You promise not to tell anyone.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. You're left with something too big for you, and she still has no help.
«Thank you for telling me. I love you. Are you thinking about hurting yourself? This is too important to keep between us. Let's tell someone together.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She cries. But she's not alone anymore.
Step by step: take it seriously, ask directly, and tell an adult you trust today. If there's immediate danger, don't leave her alone, and get an adult or call emergency services.
If you're going through a very hard time, talk to an adult you trust or a helpline in your country. Asking for help takes courage too.
Your situation
Write about a situation you're living right now.
Go over the steps of one situation before you go to sleep.
Which option would you have chosen before this route?
Your plan.
Finish and go to lesson 9 →There are moments nobody prepared us for.
This lesson is for those.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to use this lesson
There are six situations. You can do them in order or go straight to the one you need most, and you can do the lesson in two parts.
Each one has five parts: the scene, what happens inside, the simulator, step by step and if it goes wrong.
Someone cries in front of you
The scene. A coworker starts crying in the middle of a normal conversation. You don't know what's wrong.
Inside. Discomfort, wanting it to stop, fear of saying the wrong thing.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
«Don't cry, it's not a big deal.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. She wipes her tears quickly and apologizes. She feels worse.
You pretend you didn't see and keep talking.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. She pulls herself together. Nobody says anything.
You stay quiet for a moment, hand her a tissue and say: «It's okay. Take your time».
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She breathes. After a while she starts to talk.
Step by step
- In the moment: don't rush the tears. Stay. A tissue, a glass of water, your presence.
- Afterwards: «Do you want to tell me, or would you rather have some time alone?».
- Later on: ask her in a few days how she's doing.
If it goes wrong. If a «don't cry» slipped out, you can correct it: «Sorry. Cry as much as you need, I'm here».
Someone has lost a loved one
The scene. A friend's mother has died. You go to the funeral and don't know what to say.
Inside. Fear of saying something clumsy. Wanting not to go, «so as not to bother».
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
«She's in a better place now. Everything happens for a reason.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Your friend nods, but those words don't help. Sometimes they hurt.
You don't go to the funeral because you don't know what to say.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. Your friend notices you weren't there, even if he doesn't say so.
You go, hug him and say: «I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, but I'm here».
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Your friend hugs you tight.
Step by step
- In the moment: showing up matters more than what you say. «I'm so sorry» is enough.
- Don't say: «I know how you feel», «everything happens for a reason», «she's better off now», «you have to be strong».
- Afterwards: grief doesn't end at the funeral. The most valuable thing is calling a month later, when everyone has gone. Saying the name of the person who died: «What was your mom like?».
If it goes wrong. If you didn't go or didn't know what to say, it's never too late for a message: «I'm thinking of you and your mom. How are you?».
Your child says nobody loves him
The scene. At dinner, your son says without looking up: «Nobody at school likes me».
Inside. Pain, wanting to fix it right now, or to tell him it isn't true.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
«How can you say that! You're a lovely boy.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Your son goes quiet. He learned that this can't be said.
«I'll talk to the teacher tomorrow.»
If you choose this one
Stays the same. You deal with the problem, but you didn't listen to him.
«That must hurt a lot. What happened today?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Your son tells you about recess.
Step by step
- In the moment: don't contradict him. Name what he feels and ask.
- Afterwards: ask what he'd like to happen. Sometimes he wants you to step in, sometimes he just wants you to know.
- Later on: ask often, without screens, in calm moments (the car, the kitchen, before bed). If you see he isn't eating, isn't sleeping or doesn't want to go to school, talk to the school and get professional help.
If it goes wrong. If you answered with an «it's not a big deal», you can go back: «I kept thinking about what you told me. Will you tell me more?».
The friend who always calls with the same problem
The scene. A friend calls you for the third time this week to tell you the same problem. You have nothing left.
Inside. Guilt because you no longer feel like listening. Anger because she never asks about you.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You answer and listen for another hour, even though you have no strength left.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. You hang up angry. Next time you don't pick up.
You stop answering her without saying anything.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. She's left not understanding what happened.
«I love you and I want to help. I can see you going round in circles. Have you thought about talking to someone who knows about this?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. She goes quiet. «Maybe. Thanks for telling me.»
Step by step
- In the moment: set a kind limit: a time, another day, another way.
- Afterwards: if the problem repeats a lot or is serious, suggest professional help. You're not a therapist, and you don't have to be.
- Later on: you can also tell her what you need: «Sometimes I'd like you to ask how I'm doing».
If it goes wrong. If you already snapped or disappeared, you can go back: «Sorry I pulled away. I had no strength left. Can we talk?».
Someone who thinks very differently from you is suffering
The scene. A relative you always argue with about politics (or religion, or soccer) has lost his job.
Inside. Part of you thinks «he had it coming». Another part knows that isn't right.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
«See, that's what happens when you vote the way you vote.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. You fight. He pulls further away.
You say nothing. You don't get along anyway.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The distance stays the same.
«I heard about the job. I'm sorry. Do you need anything?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. He's surprised. «Thanks. I didn't expect that from you.»
Step by step
- In the moment: leave the argument for another day, or for never. Right now he's a person who is suffering.
- Afterwards: offer something concrete: a contact, some help, a meal.
- Later on: this is widening the circle from lesson 3. Empathy isn't only for people who think like you.
If it goes wrong. If you already said something hurtful, own it: «What I said was out of line. I'm sorry».
Someone tells you they want to disappear
The scene. A friend tells you: «Sometimes I think it would be better not to be here. That nobody would miss me». And asks you not to tell anyone.
Inside. Fear, a lot of fear. Not knowing if he means it. Fear of making it worse if you ask.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
«Don't talk nonsense. You have so much to live for.»
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Your friend says «yeah, I was joking». And never brings it up again.
You promise not to tell anyone.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. You're left with a secret that weighs too much, and he still has no help.
«Thank you for telling me. I love you. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?»
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Your friend cries. He tells you what he feels. Now you know how he is.
Step by step
- In the moment: take it seriously. Listen without judging or arguing. Ask directly whether he's thinking about hurting himself: asking doesn't put the idea in his head.
- Afterwards: don't keep the secret. Tell him: «You matter too much to me to do nothing. Let's look for help together». Go with him to a doctor or a psychologist, or call a helpline in your country together.
- If there's immediate danger: don't leave him alone, and call emergency services.
If it goes wrong. If at first you didn't take it seriously, go back: «I kept thinking about what you told me. I want to know how you really are».
If you're going through a very hard time, reach out to a psychologist or a helpline in your country. Asking for help takes courage too.
Your situation
Step 1 · Choose the situation most like something you're living today, or write your own.
Step 2 · Write who it is, what's happening and what you've done so far.
Step 3 · Your next step. With the tools from lessons 6 and 7, what will you do this week?
Take the next step you wrote. Even if it's small.
Which situation is most like your life? Which simulator option would you have chosen before this route?
You have the tools now, and you've tried them in hard situations.
In the next lesson you'll build your plan: what you'll do, when, with whom, and what you'll do the day you fall short again.
Finish and go to lesson 9 →Lesson 8 of 10.
Almost there.
To take with youNotice if one of these situations happens to you today.
To take with youGo over the steps of one situation before you go to sleep.
To take with youTake the next step you wrote. Even if it's small.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.