Superheroes have a plan for when the villain shows up. And you, for when the bug bites?
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Your plan looks like this: “If this happens, then I'll do that.”
For example: “If the bug bites me, then I'll breathe and say ‘congratulations!’.”
Make your plan
Your helper
Choose someone at home to help you: when they see the bug, they'll say a secret word (for example, “balloon”) to remind you of your plan.
And if the bug wins again: that's okay. You say sorry and try again tomorrow.
Stick your plan on the fridge or in your room.
Who is your helper? Why did you choose them?
The last lesson!
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Envy doesn't warn you. It arrives with a photo, a list, a piece of news. That's why it's worth deciding beforehand.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
“If this happens, then I'll do that.” For example: “If I see a photo that stings, then I'll close the app and text a friend.” These plans work better than good intentions. (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006)
And a habit takes about two months: missing a day doesn't ruin anything. (Lally et al., 2010)
Build your plan
Your full plan
1 · Your three “if… then” sentences. You already built them above.
2 · Your triggers: people, apps, moments (Saturday night, after a game).
3 · Your ally: someone who'll ask “what do you want?” when they hear you criticizing.
4 · A goal of your own for this year that doesn't depend on anyone.
5 · The day you slip: name it without punishing yourself, repair and go back to the plan.
Tell your ally your plan.
Which of your “if… then” sentences will be hardest?
The last lesson. And someone wants to tell you something.
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Sources for this lesson
- Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119. Find reference: Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
- Lally, P. et al. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. View source: Lally, P. et al. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
Envy doesn't warn you. It arrives with a photo, a call, a family dinner.
That's why it's worth deciding beforehand what you'll do.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
“If this happens, then I'll do that”
Concrete plans work much better than good intentions. (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006)
“If [something specific happens], then I will [do something specific].”
For example:
- “If I see a photo that stings, then I'll close the app and write one thing I'm grateful for.”
- “If someone tells me good news, then I'll ask them a question before talking about myself.”
- “If someone gets promoted, then I'll congratulate them and that week I'll ask what I'm missing.”
It will come back
Envy doesn't disappear: it's human. What changes is how long it stays and what it does to you.
A new habit takes, on average, about two months to become automatic, and skipping a day doesn't ruin the process. (Lally et al., 2010)
Build your plan
Build three sentences. Choose an option for each part or write your own.
Your full plan
1 · Your three “if… then” sentences. You already built them above.
2 · Your triggers. Which people, which apps and which times of day make you compare yourself most? (Sunday night, after a family dinner, when you're tired…)
3 · Your ally. Choose someone you trust and tell them your plan. Ask them for something specific: “If you hear me criticizing someone who's doing well, ask me ‘what do you want?’.”
4 · Your own path. Write a goal of your own for this year that doesn't depend on what anyone else has. And the first step.
5 · The day you slip. Write what you'll do when the sting comes back and you let it win. Some help:
- Name it without punishing yourself.
- Repair it if you did harm.
- Go back to your plan the next day.
Tell your ally your plan.
Which of your “if… then” sentences will be hardest? Why?
You've reached the last lesson. You'll look in the mirror again.
And someone wants to tell you something.
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Sources for this lesson
- Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119. View source: Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
- Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. View source: Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
Lesson 9 of 10.
Almost there.
To take with youStick your plan on the fridge or in your room.
To take with youTell your ally your plan.
To take with youTell your ally your plan.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.